.:tinalina:.

no more going on tumblr XD people trying to use what i say against me.

r.i.p blackberry

My Blackberry did a leap into the toilet unflushed. It took a swim and then i said get out of the pool and then i gave it a fast bath because i didnt want the phone to dry with the toilet water.

Dad gave hope to it and dried it. I tried leaving it on the heater but mom said no and gave a whole lecture on how in the past, a remote control got overheated and died. It now works but i don’t want to believe that it will live forever because then ill be getting my hopes up. It turns on but last night it turned off and on. When i woke up and it was still on, i was glad.

Missing the weekend

I wish Jusino was here with me in New York. I miss the things and people we would see together because without him, its different. I am in my own world that i can experience only. Without him, i am missing something i love a lot which is a lot from what we use to have in the past.

Yesterday, me and Kyky walked in the cold for her to get some candy. I felt bad that it was only me and her and not her and kids her age. She should have went with my other younger cousins. I don’t know why this was not planned out! We started at 7 o clock!

I don’t get why my friends would get mad at me for not being able to hang out. I have an essay due in a one hour and i was working all day and night for it and i do not expect to get an A. I don’t understand them. Maybe its the lack of getting to know them or something.

i just want to be home and maybe dead. Something like that could totally help.

Crying everyday over little thoughts are getting to me.

I got organized with my many essays that i have to do for all my classes. i want to do them before the day i have to hand it in. of course but i usually do not. i want to make sure i put all my effort into these papers.

Friday

Friday was awesome! So much crap was due for that class but the matter of having Jusino in the class with me and Josica was like mad cool. That was a day to remember! Little things like that makes me happy and crap. The professor didn’t act as mean or whatever he would usually be like. He was more friendly. I cant really tell but there was not much of a heavy hate on the ‘Friday’ class as much as usual.

Fuck

So i sang yesterday and i tried and tried to sound like that girl but owell. The song choice was not me, so it was kinda hard to stick by. I got the voice down for Eyes Set to Kill though which made me like surprised because she was something that was not in mind to even try!

Light

Oh how spilling out my feelings don’t seem to help me on Tumblr.

Cide

I really wish i was. How can someone feel so lonely. Im over thinking it, knowing its wrong but i so what. Can the people around even understand how to deal with this type o situation of wanting to just die? It’s stupid but so what? I can understand why someone would want to kill themselves. Great, now i sound like a mad person but so what?

I wish i was just another star in the sky because maybe i could shine better than where i am now.

I could be putting all this nonsense on myself. I give up on myself and i could say a lot of people around me would too especially my sister. I cant rely on her anymore unless it has something to do about herself.

Scott and me were suppose to switch places. I’m still here though. I wish i was somebody else.

Me and Scott obvioslly switched spots! I feel a little better but im still here being me. I hung the posters that Josica made me in all the buildings around the library. I feel that because she created them for me, i sould not just back down but print more and hang them up because it her artwork and my face on them!

Why now

I may be shaking from being cold or im shaking from being in an election. I know to be a candidate, i must be focused, not nervous, i should be strong and not weak. To be a candidate, one would not be me. I am a person who has given up easily, someone who is scared to lose and scared to win.

I thought i was just running against Kevin but i received a a Facebook message that was telling me to vote for this other girl and i was thinking, wow. this “competition” feels wrong,

Poster

Today i was trying to write my enlgih essay but i kept making myself confused on which side i stand on with the topic.

Josica made me a flier for the CSI election! It looks very neat. It looks so creative. It looks like an ad you would see in a movie premiere poster! She added a picture of me on it. I kept staring at it and tried to manage my eye to focus in a way that my nose didn’t look like it was the largest thing in my face. Looking from a far distance looks better because my nose likes to stand out! I was going to wait to print the poster she made me but it looks really good that im just going to print from at home from my dads printer!

Awkward moment

I’m wearing my ice skates to fit them in and stretch them so when i use them again, i wouldn’t feel uncomfortable. I and also starting my English essay! I am also listening to Owl City. I got a C on the English essay i got back yesterday. Me and Josica both received a C-.

I have this feeling that i am being hated. I dont get if im running for an election with guilt that im doing it against a friend or what not. i hate this feeling. i hate that i am feeling this way. Why is it that it feels like its wrong? Am i not allowed to run for it?