Stalker

I may and may not have a stalker. My dad spotted a guy following me from behind and my dad yelled at him asking what he was doing and the guy responed that he was delivering.

I feel so stressed and nervous and i want to give up on everything. I cannot take it as much or i am just rambling off in a negative way but i don’t think i can. Dealing with what im dealing with deals with so much exposure of myself. I started to take care of how i looked starting last Thursday when i had the first student government meeting. I want to make an impression¬† by dressing nice. I feel so fake and i don’t think i can speak to people because of their judgment towards me.

Everyday i wake up, i tell myself, im not going to get sick and im going to be confident! I know i will try again tomorrow but also, i know i will feel this way again.

Terssa helped me make fliers today. They look nice. I gave some to people by first introducing myself in an awkwardly scared way while trying to look unnerving. I will try tro get the hang of it. The funny part about meeting new strangers was that i wanted to be their friend. I wanted them to talk to me and get to know me and i wanted to know them. I want to know everyone¬† for some reason. I didn’t want it to just end at “Hi my name is Tina and im running for the student body so vote for me” I went deeper on how they should include themselves by trying out next year.

Scared

I am afraid about the elections. I do not know what a good approach would fit right for votes. The best way i can think of getting people to vote for me is to ask them to vote in general. After seeing my friend spread it on Facebook, i wanted to try also but at the same time, i felt a little demanding so no to that idea. I just posted at the side of my profile that i was running and the date of when to vote. I think that it is a better way because then people can read what i want to offer rather than vote for me because i told them to or because i am their friend.

Makes me really sad that I am running against a friend =( It would have been way more fun if their were two positions open just like the sophomore seats. Freshman only has one seat available.

Sitting

I’m having cereal and my feet and hands are cold. My table is still a mess and i want to do work but like i said, my table is a mess.

Used

Been a while but i feel used but two sides of friends. They simply like each other but to actually get to it, they go through me to see whether its okay to do so. On the mean time, its annoying. Once its done and either side realize that they cant be together or they actually become something,¬† I’ll notice once they choose because of course, why would i be needed.

On the brighter side, they are good people in general. Good for themselves. And i ate a lot today and sat a lot too. I heard the rain fall just a few minutes ago. I’m about to eat some more cereal. I plan to finish reading the book by tomorrow and also take notes on some parts of the book. I would like to summarize it to get the better idea.

I need to clean my room like seriously so I’ll work on that too i guess.

Yesterday in art class, i started to write a story. A story where i was the narrator and i was just imagining myself and also recording myself as a character going through some faze. It’s weird but it also leaves me guessing so which ever way the idea turns, it’ll still amaze me.

Embarassing

A teammate of mines from Staten Island Tech asks me what college i attend. I say CSI and she replies, “oh thats cool”. I wanted ask how is that cool? Everyone i know that attended Staten Island Tech went to every other college other than CSI. I dont understand how that is possible. I am in disbelief that i do not know anyone from Tech that goes to CSI!

Too much

So i signed up for become a candidate for the Student Body Government for CSI. I am not sure if i can go through with it. It’s not like in high school where i can join a lot of stuff and not very much worry about it. I want to join cheering and Josica’s and Noory”s “Fusion” i think that’s whats its called. I haven’t even went to the Peace Club for a while. I missed many meetings because i was too busy with classes. I long to learn how to play the guitar which i am really interested in trying. I dont know what to do.

Right now im trying to understand and know all the cast members of The Wire.

Rain

Terssa had the urge to actually ask me for my phone to use after we didnt talk for a long period of time. Going to ask me for something out of no where? How about she stop misusing her phones. If i give my phone to her, she’ll break that too.

Yesterday i downloaded OoVoO onto my desktop when i came home right after my art class. I could say that was the earliest i have ever rwent home from CSI this semester.

Two Years Anniversary

Me and Jusino’s second year anniversary was on September 22, 2010! He was in Pennsylvania though. He came to New York on Thursday and went to my lecture class with me for CORE. While i was in my CORE class, he was waiting outside with Brian. By the time i came out, it was around 8 o’ clock. Me, Jusino and Bryan hung out at Bryans house. It was the first time stepping in Bryans house! Jusino was going to sleep over Bryans for the days he was staying in New York.

On Friday, i couldn’t hang out with Jusino because i had unfinished English assignments. An essay was also due that evening so i wanted to make sure everything was in a good manner to give in. Josica and I had to rush with our English journals. After English class, i took the 61 to the Micheal’s by the mall. I was meeting up with Jusino who was waiting for Byran to get out of work. It was late! From there, we went to Byrans house again and just like sat and listened to music.

On Saturday, me and Jusino stayed at Bryand house while Bryan went to work. The funny part was that me and Jusino got hungry and didnt know a place to get lunch/dinner so we went to the mall. Before we left though, we watched The 70’s Show and the Kings of Queens. At the mall, Jusino and I shared an order. I made him eat plain white rice just because he needs to learn how to at least try it.

On Sunday, I totally felt free. We just hung out at Forest Avenue. We even sat by the cemetery and by the bus stop just to pass time. We had Perkins but of course, we never finish it so we had it packed up for later. Party City has the Halloween decorations and costumes up and selling! Michaels was also on its holiday sheleves. I love the holidays.

Lastly, on Monday I went to class in the morning. After class, i took two buses to go to his apartment and helped him move furniture and stuff into the moving van. It was pouring rain heavily and he was all soaked and wet. I had my rain boots and an umbrella so i wasn’t at all as wet as he was. Yesterday was the day i would last see him until next time when he comes. Saying goodbye makes me sad. I get use to it and also, try to not feel any sadness when it comes down to it. Its what builds me to overcome it.

Hes in PA and I’m still in NY. We’re doing fine. Right now I’m just reading the CORE textbook and taking notes. He tells me he’s drawing for his Architecture class. It’s like a normal thing right? Like a couple just going their own path for a while and then coming back to together once in a while. Not all the time and every minute. Like pacing through time and once in a while, unite.

Art

I don’t like Art History. Why does it have to be a required class! I am in the library sitting alone and I hate Art. I am going to start doing some more research on my English essay and then start to write it. Afterward, I am going to borrow the Art textbook and take notes and after that i will read the Core book. Hopefully i get all of this done in time to exercise.